(just sort of writing in character and then a quick blog re-intro)

I wonder if my kids hate me. I wonder if my kids hate me?

You know that I try really hard. This last week I took my son to get pizza in Bushwick. Near where he lives. I went to him. I think that’s a pretty big step? 

My daughter? That's tougher, legally speaking. I got her to drop the lawsuit last week (and let's take a moment to celebrate that!) but the restraining order remains in force. I'm still working on how to navigate Christmas this year. 100 yards doesn't seem like a long distance until you're watching the Super Bowl.

I got her oldest a lego set. I don't really see the appeal, and I don't really like them much at all. I suppose that was redundant, but I've been called a lot worse than "redundant" in my life, so I'll take it. Anyways, his name is Leo, and he's really into legos. I told my daughter she should just change his name to Lego, it would be kind of cute. It would make me like legos more. I was kidding a little, but if she ever wanted to I would offer to help.

I got her second oldest a car. Of course a model car, like a toy, not a real one. Again with this one, I just don't understand what my grandson will like about this, but I know it is the right choice. He will look me in the eyes and say "thank you grandpa" and hug me, and then the car will sit on a shelf and collect dust, and probably a lot of it. And that means he loves me. It's green.

I got her youngest a pacifier. That sort of works out nicely, that she has a baby. You don't really have to think about what to get a baby, as long as it's colorful and plastic. Oddly enough, this is the gift I understand the value in. The baby will feel soothed and comforted, and the gift is practical and will receive lots of use. My daughter will probably feel I've put the least effort into the pacifier, but I looked up brands and compared online. It's the Doddle & Co. Pop Pacifier. I found it on Amazon, only $18 for a 2-pack, which is weird because I thought baby stuff would be way more expensive than it is. I just want my daughter to forgive me. I wish their mother was here to help fix things. Good Housekeeping says it's the easiest pacifier to clean, so I thought she would appreciate that.

So I think I'll get a hotel room in her town, and on Christmas Day I won't be able to go to her but her husband can bring the kids to my hotel room, and I think there will be a pool. And I think if my daughter chooses, she is allowed to break the order and come, but she would have to come to me, and I wouldn't be able to go to her house at all. It makes me feel like a vampire, almost, having to be invited in, though it's not quite the same situation. That's what this is, a situation.

                                                                                                                                                                           

Hey everybody, welcome back to my blog, Hanks For Nothing (formerly blogwithablog formerly applegirl formerly blogwithablog). I'm mostly only writing this post because my friend last night said she started blogging (hi caroline!) and I thought it would be fun to dive in again. I assume nobody will read this part of this blog post, so I'm not gonna put much more effort into it, but I thought a brief hello was in order after so long away from the blog. Can you tell I like the word blog? See ya later!