It's time I come clean with you all. I am obsessed with a small adorable 2-3 inch stuffed animal pig named Pig, and I have been for years (photos of everything I talk about at the end).
Pig (who uses any and all pronouns given it is an inanimate object) came into my life on August 31, 2020, that's right she's a Virgo. I was in the Binghamton, NY Wegman's (fine, the Johnson City Wegman's if we're really splitting hairs) grabbing a few quick things. Classes started the next day for my final semester of college (yes I finished in 3.5 years whatever guys it's fine), and my school friend Charlie asked me to get her a notebook (now that school is over we are still friends, don't worry). I passed by the stuffed animal display on my way to the notebook and I kid you not did a double take. Seriously, I'm not kidding, love at first sight. I'm sick.
I texted "Found a notebook xx"
Charlie texted "send pic!" (she's an autocaps off sorta guy)
I texted "This pic is unrelated but I accidentally fell in love with this pig stuffed animal" with an accompanying photo of Pig, no notebook in sight.
It's at this point that I should mention that Pig from Ganz's "Tossimals" line of small, bean-bag-sized stuffed animals. You'll remember Ganz as the people behind Webkinz, the 2008ish-12ish craze.
I haven't really been this down bad for a stuffed animal since my first Webkinz, Red Eyes, the red-eyed tree frog. I would hold his hand in mine, his four little fingers woven between my own. I always have been very soothed and comforted by a soft touch or texture. I love cotton and cotton blends, but I can't stand velvet, it's too smooth, go figure. I remember when Red Eyes eventually got a hole in his fabric (worn down after years of me holding it) and I probably cried, definitely freaked out, and 100% ripped him up in a fit of rage instead of just finding a needle and thread to fix it. As a kid, I would bottle up all my feelings and then once in a while destroy something I loved as a means of expressing my anger. Despite my best efforts, I can never forget the day I dropped my iPod nano and it cracked a little bit, and then the screen just wasn't 100% responding to my touch, and I got so mad at myself for breaking the iPod that I slowly pressed the screen really hard against the hard wooden corner of my bed frame until it was completely inoperable.
I'm happy to report I don't rage quite as hard anymore (yes I do, I almost really messed up my teeth last year, let's not go there though please).
But anyways, I took Pig home and over the next few months I realized its tail, when held in my finger crotch, gave the same soft-fabric comfort as Red Eyes's hands. I knew from Red Eyes, though, the longer I held Pig, the more likely it would wear the fabric down to the point of tearing. I wouldn't couldn't didn't bear to accept that reality, so months later, when I was visiting my friends in Binghamton (because I didn't live there anymore because I already graduated college but they were taking the full 4 years not just 3.5 so I decided to visit them) I made a pitstop at that Wegman's and bought 3 more pig stuffed animals so that when it was time for Pig to retire (whenever I decided it was too delicate), another pig could step in to take its place. I'm glad I did because last Christmas I left Pig at home when I went back to Brooklyn, but Pig 2 was waiting there for me! Pig 2 goes by "Pig" but I know which one is which (truth be told I purposefully lost Pig OG in the mess that is my closet so I'm not tempted to wear it down any more.
(By the way, just to interject, I know this is all weird. My family and friends all know all of this and think it's weird).
Summer 2021, I got a disposable camera to bring to the lake. My family goes to Garnet Lake, NY every 4th of July week; it's the most perfect place in the world (am I using ; right?) I decided I would fill those 26 shots or so with glamor shots of Pig, which I've since printed and compiled in a photo album, which I can't seem to find, which would actually suck way worse if I didn't have scans of all the images. There's some silly ones (Pig doing cocaine, Pig in a pile of money) and some serious ones (Pig in hydrangeas, literally shockingly beautiful). They're all blurry because the film was definitely expired, but beggars can't be choosers.
I've emailed the Ganz corporation to try and buy a bulk order, and I haven't given up hope at one day having a little pig farm, but this is how that exchange went (if I forgot to block any sensitive information please just promise you won't use it!)
So that's a tough pill to swallow.
That's pretty much the end of this story... or is it just the beginning? Pig has been with me now to Spain, Los Angeles, end of list, so she's really a world traveler. I'm so excited to see where Pig and I go, both together and separately, in the new year, and when in life (if ever) I give up my reliance on soft inanimates for comfort that should ultimately stem from a positive self-view.
___________________________________________________________
PHOTOS:
my Instagram post dedicated to Pig on his first birthday. Scroll through to see Pigs 2-4, Pig's birth chart, and the text conversation that started it all
No comments:
Post a Comment