Hello, my
name is Annie Bitter. I’m 12 years old, and I live at 124 Kay Street. I want to
get a dog, but my mom says that I need to prove I’m responsible before we can
get one, so I am offering up my services as a trust fund babysitter! Are you
trying to get out of the house to go to the supermarket, to a fancy restaurant,
or other adult places, only to realize your mid-20s trust fund baby isn’t
responsible enough to be left home alone? That’s where I come in!
I am…
RESPONSIBLE
– I know how to put a child safety lock on your medicine cabinet, so your trust
fund baby doesn’t sneak any of your Xanax when they run out of their own
CARING – I
will give your trust fund baby the constant attention and praise he or she
needs in order to fill the void that you left by sending them to that expensive
boarding school in Switzerland when they were 5 and then only visiting on
holidays
FUN – I
know lots of games to play with your trust fund baby that will affirm their
self-worth and extreme privilege, like “No Chutes, Just Ladders” and “Monopoly,
But Everybody Gets Out of Jail Free All the Time Because There Are No
Consequences to Your Actions When You’re Wealthy”
IF YOU
NEED A SITTER, JUST CALL BITTER!
PHONE:
(900) 866-2173
RATES:
$1,500/hour
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